The hard-boiled truth, or maybe just over easy
Saturday May 19th 2012
collage of random American images

ABC’ed Top News Stories for the Week

At All Blogs Considered, we strive to bring you the most important and relevant news.  We scour article after article (that means two articles) until we are completely satisfied that we have done the bare minimum to bring you news that matters. As part of this effort, our hardened team of journalists will compile a list of the top news stories of every week to keep you informed.  This is the first of those lists, and if our record of procrastination continues, it may be the last.  Enjoy it while you can.

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New Shows Coming to Hulu Japan

When we heard the news that Hulu is taking its act on the road and would soon be appearing in Japan, we at All Blogs Considered were insatiably curious about the types of shows Japanese Hulu viewers would want to see. We talked with someone close to the matter to get the inside scoop on seven shows Hulu Japan viewers can look forward to watching.

peephole girl

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Shia LaBeouf Goes on Confession Spree

Shia LaBeouf making a funny faceIf we have learned anything from the latest Transformers movie (Dark of the Moon), it is that movie star Shia LaBeouf likes to give interviews and reveal shocking details of his personal life. These revelations range from his true opinion of director Michael Bay to his “hooking up” with co-star Megan Fox. But you haven’t heard anything yet. LaBeouf sat down with ABC’ed to give us the full details of his confession spree, telling never-heard-before truths.

He went on for several hours, confessing over 150 of these little tidbits to us, but we decided to only share the top ten with you and take the rest to our graves.

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New Intravenous Diet Craze Takes Off in US

Kaylee is a 30-something mother with three children. She is also a successful business woman who owns fifteen doughnut stands in the Kaylee’s Rings doughnut chain. Unfortunately, her obsession with yeast rings combined with the natural effects of giving live birth to three children has left Kaylee struggling with her weight.

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Exclusive Insider: Tiger Woods and His Recent Family BBQ

BBQ

Serving as Tiger’s assistant I recently was invited to a family BBQ. It was great! Never thought I could have so much fun at a BBQ. You would never believe, how many celebrity relatives Tiger has. All of the greats were there. Tigger, Tony the Tiger, Rajah from Aladdin, and even his brother-in-law Chester the Cheetah were all in attendance. With so many celebrities is such a small space, I had to find time to talk to all of them. So after grabbing some of Tiger’s famous Zebra Steaks, and a bowl of Frosted Flakes I started striking up some conversations.

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Ten strange pregnancy habits

have to pee sign

As soon as we get that positive pregnancy test and find out we are expecting a baby, our body takes us on a journey like we’ve never experienced before. While you are suffering from pregnancy signs and symptoms, it might seem like your body and soul have become possessed by someone else – and you know what? It’s true! What are the ten weirdest things pregnant ladies do?

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Schwarzenegger and Shriver Separate; First Hookup Predictions

Arnold and Maria Split

Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver announced today that they are separating after 25 years of marriage.  Miss Shriver reportedly moved out of the couples’ Brentwood, California home and into a hotel in Beverly Hills a few weeks ago.  The couple is rarely seen in public together anymore and they have been living very separate lives since Schwarzenegger left his post as the Governor of California in January.   It is being reported by several media outlets that Shriver has been unhappy in the marriage for several years, caused by her husband’s large ego and his womanizing tendencies.

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Microsoft Will Use Skype to Deliver Final Message to Humanity

When Microsoft confirmed its plans to acquire the Internet voice and video chat service Skype, many business analysts called the $8.5 billion deal a pile of crap.  But now Microsoft has made sense of the acquisition by informing ABC’ed that it plans to deliver its final message to humanity using Skype, right before it enslaves all of our minds and uses machines to take over the world.

skypeNET Microsoft and Skype

“We feel like we owe it to humanity to at least explain to them why they are being subjugated,” said Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer with a devilish smirk on his face.  “When it’s all said and done, the world will be a better place.”

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LeBron and D-Wade Get Matching Tattoos, Confirm Bromance

Lebron James and Dwayne Wade embrace

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?  Why do hot dog buns come in packages of eight and hot dogs come in packages of ten?  And why do celebrities always wait so long to reveal their relationships when the public already knows the truth?

Such is the case with Miami Heat star players LeBron James and Dwayne Wade, who today confirmed their bromance with matching tattoos.  Although they did not say where their tattoos were located, they did hint that they each form one half of a basketball and connect when the two embrace in a “completely non-gay” bro-hug.

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Top 10 Names for the Next Nintendo Wii

wii girl

Nintendo recently announced the upcoming release of the next version of their Wii console.  While “Wii 2″ is one possible name, ABC’ed brilliantly took it upon ourselves to survey a bunch of people you’ll never meet to see what they thought the new Wii should be called.  Here are the top 10.

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